My Hero

"Who is your role model" This is the question parent or sometimes really obnoxious moms ask their children or their friend's children when they are young. And you should give them the right answer of satisfaction in order to eat dinner....or that was just me. So, I often answered, "my mom!" or "my dad!". But to be honest, I said that to eat favorite part of my meal in the entire day, the dinner. I'm just joking. I am not saying they are off my role model list in my life book, but rather, I would like to add someone to that chapter. Whenever my e-mails me or calls me from Korea, he use Oprah Winfrey as a perfect example of a strong and successful business woman who dealt with many hardship in her life. And I absolutely  agree100% with my dad here. She was nominated in the list of 100 most powerful women in the 21st century and has helped and shared a lot of very unfortunate people with unbelievable amounts of money and love. She was the first ever black woman to open up a talk show become very successful at it. Therefore, she is also one of my ideal role models. But there is someone whom I support and admire very much. Ellen DeGeneres, Emmi-winning talk-show host and also the first female talk show host to proudly announce that she is gay. She faced eight years of rejection from the media and faced many struggles in her life but she is now announced in one of the most powerful women in the 21st century. Ellen DeGeneres not only bring happiness to people's lives but bring hope as well. She donates 30% to the charities from her talk show, "The Ellen DeGeneres Show". She loves helping the unfortunate people and shares soooo much love that she would literally give them 30000 dollars and a brand new car if in need. I love her to bits and my dream is to meet her one day before I die. One episode I watched from you tube amazed me so much where she helped out a family of six, a single mom and her five children who lost all of their properties from hurricane Katrina and is living with their grandparents house down in Louisiana. Ellen gave them a surprise visit and offered them a brand new car, a 30000 dollars and a trip to California where Ellen's studio is located at to give them a grand tour of her studio. She is just a sweet sweet person who loves sharing and caring about human race and I too would like to grow up to be just like her. Ellen DeGeneres is my number one hero.

My Ideal Place

Hrm...what would be the most idea place/perfect society for us to live in? What can we write if we can't write about all those lovely fictional places to live in but some realistic place of pain, suffer, and death? Does that even make sense?...........wtf? Anyways, if i had to choose my place of utopia, and has to be on this island, then I am already satisfied enough. I have nothing more to ask for and nothing to loose. Well,,, maybe some addition of hot guys would make my life much better. But that again....is just my hope...and ambers....and svahns...and...every other single ladies out there. TEEHEE. I'm pretty sure all the guys would say the exact same thing. Those eyeless bastards. I am perfectly happy with my life at the moment, and can pretty much relate my life style to my ideal place of utopia....not quite there..but ALMOST there.....except maybe the exception of solving math, solving critical reading/writing, mom's nagging, stress, boy problems, and most of all,,,something that all girls can relate to.....oh my god...Mr. Lee winking at you. OH.MY.GOD. Every single time,,,,,is that too small? EVERY SINGLE TIME Mr.Lee and I have this "magical" moment of pause and stare at each other, I try my best not to lower my eyes so I could feel some kind of pride in myself that I have won the battle against Mr. Lee's starring contest. But NO. He just has to wink and make me look away to do that gagging notion. Now I truly worship Michael Stewart, a champion and a hero in my book who had the courage and bravery to wink at Mr. Lee first before he had the chance to wink at him. Damn....he's got balls man. Anyways, enough with the balls, I wouldn't want any other place of Utopia besides Saipan. I know that deep inside,  when all of my friends move out to collage to pursue their dreams in the future, they will all one day come back to this tiny island and bring back all those memories we shared together in our high school years. We may complain about this tiny island at this moment, how there is nothing to do, no special place to go, and no hotties walking around garapan with sluttish clothes on, but in the end, when we are all immature, and needs a break from our life, we will think of this place more often than we might want to. So folks! Follow the Nickey slogan! "Just do it!" It might be illegal tomorrow!

Stupid judges........

Updating on my life is a bit....harsh at the moment. It is in fact, it is very frustrating. Just this Friday night, I had my very first Lincoln Douglas Debate over at Calvary Christian Academy. LD is a short term for the debate. Anyways, a topic is given and the debaters have to prepare both of the opposite sides of a debate; the pros and cons. This October/November topic was whether or not a state should possess nuclear weapons. I normally truly slack off on these debates but really get my head in the game during the regional but this time around, someone...I am not going to say it's the same girl that I wrote about manners....triggered or really fired me up on this round. I wanted to do my absolute best and show her what I am capable of and what I can do better than her. But unfortunately, I won two sets of rounds and lost one. Its not because I wasn't good on the other round; in fact, I was soooooo confident that I won all three sets. I could even swear this to the God up in the sky.

In Saipan, there are only certain number of limited qualified judges on the island, therefore, each school has to bring a judge by the number of debaters competing for that round. Unfortunately, I got the crappy ass judge. How crappy ass was he? Well, he was talking on the phone in the first place during my rebuttal, not even listening to me or even looking at me the whole time. How do I know if he wasn't listening? Because he was frickin humming a song the whole frikin time!!!!!

Not only that, but I found out that he was one of the parent from the same school that my opponent was going to. Which makes it sooooo obvious that no matter how hard, or how convincing I was, the crappy ass judge was going to give the victory to my opponent, who was going to the school, the judge's children are going to. Because that school is just THAT FAMOUS FOR THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE.

I am sorry if I am offending any “people” but this is my blog and this is the place where I could write down how I truly feel at the moment. Basically it is where I relieve my stresses in my life. Gosh......I am soooo pissed........you don't even know how angry I was when I got my results back. But I've learned that this is how the given situation is and I need to get over it and accept the fact in a positive light.....

Where's your manner?

Manners......its a common sense which every people SHOULD have by the age of 17. That's right. When someone waves at you with a smiley face in an attempt to start a "friendship" you don't just shake your head side by side. There's a reason why God gave you hands... I know it takes A LOT of energy just to bring your hand up 5 inches to wave them but its called "MANNERS". And YES I'm being sarcastic.
This morning, I went to take my subject test at the college, and there I met some unpleasant people. But in an attempt to be a "nice person" and since we knew each other, I decided to wave at them with a smiley face.Not a single one of them waved back at me. While all my fellow SIS members are taking the SAT 1 test, I was the only loner surrounded by bunch of weird people from a weird school. <--- (note how it's singular) taking the SAT 2. Then there's this one girl, whom I really "tried" to make friendship with, but I just can tell that she doesn't want to. So, in the end, I decided to fuck her. She thinks so so high up there above everybody else with that ugly face of hers plastered with arrogance. I mean, I acknowledge her hard works. Sometimes, I even tell myself that there's something I can learn from her. She manages to participate in bazzilion creative activities and manages to stay at the top notch. But everything is not about studying, studying, and studying. Socialism plays a huge role in our life and if she thinks nobody is good for her, I'd like to see her crushed face when she meets whole bunch of others, standing at her level in college.
So that was my bitchiness complain of this morning. And hopefully she will read this and realize, "Oh I need to stop being a bitch and raise my hand to wave back at those who waves at me with a smiley face."

...death?

Where would you like to die? What would you be doing and why?

Death....such a depressing word to think about. Although, each people view death in a different perspectives. If you asked any gay, wealthy man who seems to have everything he needs in life, and you could see the happiness radiating from his face, death may be an unwelcoming visit. 

But on the other hand, a suffering patient who is fighting with the pain 24 hrs from severe disease or illness would welcome death at any moment. I often pondered about where and how I want to die in the future. (Hopefully not so soon).

But If I was given a choice where I could pick one place to die, I honestly think I wouldn't mind as long as my body gets buried in Korea, where all my families are. Saipan would be my second choice if Korea got invaded by the Northern people, but that is not most likely going to happen while I'm still alive....hopefully. I wouldn't want to die due to lack of oxygen or suffer from any physical pain for a long period of time. And No, I do not want mental pain either.

One possible death that I would be able to tolerate or handle would be death by old age. Although I do not want all those nasty diseases that old people get. I want to face a simple clean death like my grandpa and die with the one whom I love next to me to hold me tight.

Like I said before, I wouldn't mind where I die, just as long as I am buried in my home country.

I Have Lived a Thousand Years

"But for me the platform was full. It was brimming wis disarray of sights, hundreds upon hundreds, a bleeding of dead and dying. I saw Greco, the fifteen-year-old Greek boy with enormous, feverish eyes, begging for water. I saw Lilli, the sixteen-year-old brunette with her leg blown off, sitting in a pool of blood. I heard Martha, blinded in both eyes, calling to her mother. And Beth, and Irene...ageless faces, skeletal limbs filled the gray, translucent mist." -I Have Lived A Thousand Years (Page 10)

I believe this is one of the truly greatest Holocaust book written in history, next to Diary of Anne Frank. Once I started reading this book, I couldn't stop reading. And even after finishing the book, I was unable to get the contents, images, and characters off of my mind. “I have lived a thousand years” by Livia Bitton-Jackson is truly the saddest and touching book that brings us back to the history of Holocaust.

An autobiography of a 13 years old Jewish girl who was imprisoned in the death camp at Auschwitz describes her horrible experience and intensity of her life, and how she survived miraculously through the fates of the Holocaust. Through her story, I've realized that people in this world need to stop and listen to the stories that must be told and not just hide it and run away from what had happened and incident like this should NEVER be repeated in the history again.

Although this book may not be qualified as a high school reading level, nevertheless this book caught my attention, giving the readers a much deeper understanding of how the Jews were treated in different concentration camps. The story haunted me to think what humans are capable of doing to another human being but in contrast, this book showed how some people can stay strong despite the harsh conditions they are in. It showed hope within humanity and courage amongst the weak.

I would strongly recommend “I have lived a thousand years”, an easy book to take things off of your mind and be reminded once again of the conditions you are in.