What I want to do after college.

What do I want to do after graduating from college? Well, to bluntly so to speak, its a bit hard to answer that question because I’ve never even graduated from high school. However, my mind is open to all those countless possibilities waiting for me. Maybe I could take a year off to travel? Meet up with my friends? Or learn/experience something new. We may plan something and always end up with “change of plans”. I guess its safe to start with what I want to do while in college. 

Growing up with only me and my mom, away from family is a bit hard sometimes. Especially when you have such a strong and tight family. I have 4 aunties in Korea and they are all fantastic and gets along very well. It’s hilarious when all five of them meet up and you just have to admire their strong sisterhood bonding. My mom is the only exception because she is here with me on this tiny island of Saipan. My dad has lived alone for a good portion of his lifetime, working, trying to support our family and for me to have a better education. That’s why I decided to go to college in Korea. As much as I am “Americanized” and some may even call me a Twinkie, I think its time, I bring back my family together once and for all.

I have no idea how Korean education system works and from what I heard growing up, its not exactly sugar coated candy material news. I’ve learned english since first grade and sometimes, I feel more comfortable speaking english than Korean. It quite frankly scares me when I know I’m going to college in Korea because I know how those students study and damn....it’s traditionally, asian hardcore. I guess many things can change in the 8 months period before I start my college. Learn my mother language, honing my skills so I won’t get bullied in the future. Learn something I’ve alway wanted to learn; makeup. And hopefully go to cooking class with my mom. These are some of the things I want to do before going to college.

Now going back to the topic, what I really want to do AFTER college, I’d really like to travel around. It might be just around Korea, going to different provinces or if fortunate enough, go around the world, experience different cultures and experience/see new things in life. One thing I definitely want to do is go on a small trip (even a road trip) with just my family. My mom, me and my dad. We have never been to a trip before as a family because dad was always working and we were in different part of the world. I’d like to make my personal memory of our family time together, doing something. I guess that’s one thing I’m really looking forward to.

Another is internship. Over my 2011 summer vacation, I’ve interned in two different places of business. One in the fashion industry and the other in technology programming. To be honest, I enjoyed the fashion industry one better and has helped shine a path of light on the road I would like to take in the future. As a very outgoing, energetic and friendly person, I like working with people, interacting, facing human problems more than spending the day in front of the computer typing away random numbers in the screen. I’m crossing my fingers I could get another opportunity like that in the fashion industry after college graduation.

Favorite book

Finding and appreciating pleasure to simple happiness in life is hard to find in this fast pacing digital society in which we live in. Especially in time’s most troubling moments. Some people work particularly hard in order to take mind off of things, others spend time with friends, while some of us find comfort in our favorite books. Never before I had read something like One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. This book set in Soviet labor camp in the 1950s, in an unspecified region of Siberia, describes a single day of an ordinary prisoner, Ivan Denisovich Shukhov. Never before, the Stalinist repression been openly distributed which makes this book even more shocking and refreshing.

The book starts off with a worker waking up to a pounding hammer on a rail outside. Readers slowly register the setting as a prison camp. The prisoners are forced to work in uncountable conditions. Days are long, tasks are arduous, and prisoners are treated with injustice of cruel Soviet bureaucracy. Ivan Denisovich (the main character) was captured during World War II has been sentenced to ten years of prison after being accused of spying for the Germans. He is innocent, but is still being punished by the Soviet government. 

The author’s style of description is what shocked me the most. Vivid, explicitly written conditions exceed beyond our imagination. The working conditions at the camp are unbelievable, as temperatures rarely exceed over -20 degrees Celsius, the prisoners barely have enough clothes to keep them alive in extreme environments and are given only small amounts of inedible lukewarm “portage” mixed with water, potato chunks, and fish bones. Their personal belongings are taken away from them and is replaced with random numbers. To say that the life in the camp is difficult is overly underestimated. 

Due to the camp’s reckless environment, many of the men have lowered themselves, gave up their dignity and pride for survival. To keep themselves from going absolutely insane. Each prisoners have lost their hope, spending everyday like zombies, unnoticed. However, despite all the torment and turbulence these men face everyday, many of them find peace, joy and happiness in the given environment. I find it remarkable that those men, treated less than animals can go to bed at the end of the day and feel fortunate that they are still there, breathing in presence. 

The conclusion of the book shows Ivan Denisovich lying in bed rethinking about the day that he’s been through, thankful for all the small things that he has been blessed with which helped him smile in such extreme environment. This book helped me understand that even the simplest pleasure can bring happiness and joy no matter what or where the circumstances are, but it all depends on the perspective and attitude of the person. It reminded me that being appreciative and thankful for the simplest things can make my darkest days or even my brightest days, just a little bit better. 

Stream-consciousness

Love, what comes to your mind when you think of the word, love? Maybe family love? Animal love, love of obsession over fur coats, earings, glasses, or picking out new boyfriend materials. I honestly have no idea on what to write 2,000 words on the topic of “romantic love”. I don’t even want to think about the topic itself. I am beyond puzzled and worried what i am going to type because the teacher (not mentioning) the teacher who thinks everybody thinks he’s beyond human and dazzling himself. i don’t know what my opinion is about him but .................cough cough cough cough cough......................i don’t want to be his victim anymore.......maybe ill break into his house and ....crap...he told us not to write about him. but what am i going to do if that was in my mind? profanity profanity profanity profanity profanity profanity...ohhh i think someone has a cute earing. and i see a chick in front of me with a glasses and muslim hair buns typing away in her computer. I see a smiling ape and a weird girl squinty her eyes at me who seats next, oh right her name is alice next to me and dman....she’s so weird. there’s a chick who’s spacing out, i don’t know if i should tell you guys that she’s milin......she’s staring at her computer not typing........she’s suppose to type...what is she thinking? she’s suppose to type what’s in her mind but she’s just staring at her computer............im just looking around the room and ow....my arms starts to hurt. and why did i buy this keyboard cover? its so Q!#!#@$ hard to type in this thing. maybe i should take it off....NO.....i need to keep on typing away on my little beautifully crafted mac.............wow im really off topic. so whats the topic again? oh yeah...loave.....what!!?!??! “love”. thats right. i have zero consciousness on the topic of love......god im thirsty. maybe i can steal somebody’s water bottle and drink and sneakily give it back to the person. ok i just took of my mac keyboard case and it is SO MUCH EASIER TO TYPE~~~~~~loving the clicking sound of my keyboard........lani just laughed...why is she laughing? maybe ill ask her later........or ill just steal her mac and just read it myself no big deal. sei looks serious like always, andy looks stoned............shane is typing away in her computer. i can’t see zoe’s expression..............lani is typing like a madwoman.....jaehee is just spacing out yet once again......taekhan looks bored but his fingers are moving in fast pace. milin is not typing agai........nope...she’s staring at her ohhh she’s staring in front of her and what da.....alice....stop looking at me with ur weird eyes...its freaking me out. oh my gawd.....i think i can’t focus today....maybe its that cup of coffee i ate this morning...? ate? i mean drank......ist that the right grammar? is it only me but jaehee’s eye is like....half closed......and he looks stoned man!..........i can’t see jian’s pretty face..............oh gawd...am i giving away myself too much? what am i gonna do if he.....the teacher....not mentioning who he is...reads my essay or whatever im typing right now!!???!!?! oh gawd my fingers are getting sweaty.....is that how you spell it?!!?!?!??! sweety? sweaty?......love LOVE LOVE......i don’t know what to type or write about love....damn it..........lets seee.....i just gave up completely on the guys in our class.....they are hopeless im telling you man....am i being too mean? NO. THEY ARE HOPELESS....................i really like zoe’s hair....its redish blondish.....whatever the color is........man my fingers start to hurt and i really want to cover up  my pretty keypads....i feel like its being exposed too much. my beauty....my baby....i need to dress it up....but ohhhhh milin is not typing again....she’s squirming thinking WHAT to write....bad...se’s not following the instruction like i am................oh god..i have to exams tomorrow...i don’t know which one i should study first.........maybe stat because i have lots to study and is kinda lagging on that subject....lagging!?!!? is that even a word?!?!? OKAY ______ STAY OF TOPIC. love....love...love......i love my mom and dad....does that count? yessssss i wrote 756 words already....god......this is SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LONG........ why can’t i just write about ....nevermind i like this better.......OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEI is not typing as well.........wat da hell.....the next to me.....ALICE..........wat da.....why is she keep on staring at me?!?!!?.......what cha looking at!!???!? go look at your screen.......omg...she looked at me again.......love....love .....love......i don’t think i love her........no..........OH GAWD AMY IS STARING AT ME......oh she just asked me a question....but im not gonna tell ya~~~hahahahahahahaha because its about the article i wrote....hehehehehehehehheheehe amy has such a prettyful eyes......i think i can just swim in them.....jkjkjk im straight.......as straight as my red twistor liquor can be.........what!?!!?.......as straight as my.........nevermind. im not gay................wow lani really did wrote alot.....she doesn’t have that many ......or cap letters like i do.. HOLY CHOW  shane is like...all words.......i like her M &M lunch box smiling at me....atleast someone loves me........i feel loved. YES BACK ON TOPIC!!! good job ______. im so proud of you girl. friday night was magical....yes......those of you who i told you guys should know what im talking about.....mr lee looks so weird...i mean.....ok....i want to erase that but since i can’t backspace....i guesss ill just leave it there. hopefjully he won’t pick mine and read it to the class. ohhhhgus just stopped typing. bad boy. bad boy. im really enjoying this signment....or assignment. oh yes! already thousand words! heheheheehehehehhehee. im a bit disappointed about the NFL result. me and my partner got 4th.....not fun. we were expecting first or atleast 2nd place........MAN...... yea my friends will def. know who i am now.......my arms hurts so bad.its so painful now. yes its to the point where my blood vesells are popping out from my delicate little hands. i need to wash my tiger....its very brown......george orwell 1984.......its the book next to me.........i really didn’t like that book....i don’t like sad books.....as you all know, im very romantic person. i love happy endings. aww....amy moved away from me....now i can’t check if she’s doing facebook or not......im just kidding. im seriously worried about my exam for tomorrow.....i don’t think i can get a quick nap today... have to go home and study straight away. OH i met some student exchange students yesterday. there were all 92 and couple of them were 90....but there’s this really cute guy and i thought he was pretty cute....but he had no muscles so i was like ehh....watever. i think i should get a tatoo someday. maybe my english teacher’s face across my back?! to show him my affection for him so i can get better grades? lol no. thats stupid.....il just ruin my life. maybe i should bring my girlfriends to get matching tatoos with me........eww....gus just touched me. disgusting. he’s not even typing....maybe he’s resting a little....maybe i should rest a little bit. oh my gawd. my keyboards are getting dirty again....okay i removed gus’s arm away from my delicate back. mission accomplished. oh gawd i need to go use the bathroom...what time is it?! is it almost time to go? amber is really cute......right?......she’s typing really fast......like....nevermind....i don’tk know what that wod is in english.....ill probably forget later on. my neck really hurts now.....my fingers hurt too. i wonder if my mom’s gonna get mad at me if i tell her that i forgot to take out the trash yesterday.....she was like....what’s that smell when she came in.....gus is spacing out now.....why is he even sitting here? seating? sitting? watever. same thing. okay lets go back to the topic now. laaove..love.....i wonder if im going to marry a korean or an american later? do i want to know? yes. really? yes. ooooooohhhhhh andy just used backspace. bad boy. bad bad boy. i love his cooking....its so delicious. its beyond dreamy. i think his cheesecake is the best. total worth dying for...well maybe not. but its really good. if he opens a bakery later on and i become rich, id toally invest on his bakery. its delicious and craking lacking. maybe i should go to andy’s house to learn how to bake some of his delicious cheesecake orego ...? oreo cakes. soo delicious...so so delicious. ha! i have one thousand five hundred words already. five hundred more to go. milin is not typing again....she’s spacing out...yet once again. i don’t know what to type anymore...i think i ran out of thoughts to type about now. richard is laughing...we don’t know why but he laughs at everything. i just wanna break his glasses.....why do i have the urge to do that. why are you staring at me mili!?!?!?!!?1 why are you staring at me!?!!!!? WHY?!?!?!? STOP LAUGHING WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME.!?!!??! SHANE....SHES why am i typing in cap lock......hahahaha thats riht. look back to your screen shane.............jae hee finished before me?! eww. milin just made that wtf......eww i just saw dong hyuin’s disgusting face. i think im gonna go blind now. i just want to kill him. what are you looking at taek han?! WHY IS EVERYBODY LOOKING AT ME!?!?! WHY!?!?!?! milin is lloooking at me again. she’s laughing at me too..why?! what are you looking at alice!?!??! am i that pretty!?!?!? god its so stressful...im like banging my keyboards right now...okay i need to calm down...whewwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........WHEWWWW..... i guess amber just finished typing her stream of consciousness.....wow i don’t think i wrote 100 words about love. lets see...love. i elieve believe love is a very powerful thing. because mommies sacrifice their gossip time to change their babies dipers. diapers. diepers. doesn’t even makes sense. amber laughs like a duck. i guess she just finished with hers and reading it. my neck hurts so bad. i think i pulled a muscle or something. happy birthday to you~ happy birthday to you~~~~사랑하는!!!!!!!!!!!! _______happy birthday to you~~~~ why are you bo^^^^^rn.....why are you bo^^^^rn....why are you boooooorrrrrnnnnn.....why are you born!?! almost done. two hundred letters more. oh yeah. i can hear myself saying these things. gawd im so creative. oh my gawd my nose itches like !@#$!. eww. jaehee’s ugly face. don’t laugh at me u sick weirdo. u think thats funny?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!? gawd. what is mac made out of? its so fabulous!!!!! F.A.B.U.L.U.S. okay wow i misspelled that. talk about embarrrassing. ok wow i misspelled that too....my last hundred words are dedicated to my family for their endless love, support, food and love again. i wouldn’t have survived this harsh world without their love and i am so greatful for them and all i want to say is that i love you guys mom and dad and thank you for raising me. and I thank god for making me an atheist. all my glory is dedicated to you. fantastic! and now i am officially done! okay few more letters...almost there... and almost there.... and yes!

I believe in what I love to do

New York is often considered the epicenter of the fashion world – not only because of its many designers and fashion shows, but also because of New Yorkers’ innate sense of style.  I see New Yorkers understand clothing far more than any other fashionistas around the world. Fashion is a vehicle through which we define ourselves. I believe in doing what I love to do. I love to see new things and experience variety of different perspectives growing up. The world of fashion intrigues me. The bright exquisite colors, fast paste of evolutionary trends, powerful catwalks, extravagant makeups and group of diversely creative people working together simply draws me to their world. Its like waking up in Christmas and finding the whole “package” under the Christmas tree. Growing up, like every other kid, I’ve once wanted to become a doctor, astronaut, lawyer, a wizard, or even a teacher. But now, I know that my passion and interest is somewhere in the world of fashion. Whether writing critics about celebrity styles or applying wound makeup to them, I do not know as of now. But, I am looking forward and try to be open minded on different perspectives regarding with fashion.